FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize