I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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