Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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