Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
