Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
