Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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