fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
