U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize