just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I could fuck to npr.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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