Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
