It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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