Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
