just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
