I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
