Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
