Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
