her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
soo... how was my night?
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