OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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