Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
