i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
