Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
