She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
