just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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