wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
