is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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