She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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