and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize