i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
