Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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