is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
