i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i came on her dog
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
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So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.