found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
