One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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