hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
