hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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