You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
