I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
