Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
