found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
