We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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