I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
