maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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