Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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