From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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