Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

doooooooo herrrrrrrrr

(504): View more from Louisiana

I'm out of practice. be my yoda

(314): View more from Missouri

put your penis in her you must.

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(313): View more from Michigan

is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...

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(802): View more from Vermont

She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.

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(954): View more from Florida

oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(512): View more from Texas

he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.

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(613): View more from Ontario

he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

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(907): View more from Alaska

That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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(707): View more from California

Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.

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