Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
