how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have aggressive nipples.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
