We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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