I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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