Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...

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  (310): I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on... http://tfl.nu/l298
  Replies (67) Good night (2263) Bad night (1183)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1765) Bad night (4188)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I think you know the answer.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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  (248): What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks. (810): I think you know the answer. (248): How can I marinade myself in Vodka? http://tfl.nu/cvlx
  Replies (12) Good night (3999) Bad night (821)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

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  (972): I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were. http://tfl.nu/ckqe
  Replies (53) Good night (1946) Bad night (7238)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?

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  (+44): Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill? http://tfl.nu/844o
  Replies (14) Good night (3842) Bad night (1907)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.

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  (917): Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up. http://tfl.nu/5qka
  Replies (14) Good night (2176) Bad night (857)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

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  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (511)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1

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  (865): We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1 http://tfl.nu/rd3z
  Replies (9) Good night (891) Bad night (636)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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  (303): exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake". http://tfl.nu/t5lj
  Replies (7) Good night (719) Bad night (1442)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?

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  (303): can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself? http://tfl.nu/x2xl
  Replies (8) Good night (1361) Bad night (516)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you

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  (406): Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you http://tfl.nu/uju1
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (405)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"

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  (480): "The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!" http://tfl.nu/bdi6
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (463)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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  (330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (581)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call

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  (613): Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call http://tfl.nu/gkj8
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (269)
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  (347): View more from New York

  It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her

  (718): View more from New York

  What is this high school

  (347): View more from New York

  There was a lot of catching up to do bro

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  (347): It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her (718): What is this high school (347): There was a lot of catching up to do bro http://tfl.nu/bof4
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (399)

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