I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
