You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
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arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.