This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.