1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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