oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize