I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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