found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
